Your Aunt Stephanie

This week has been a very hard week. My sister and Kat, Brody & Quinn's aunt passed away October 9th. She was only 36 and lived too short of life. I wanted to share a few memories of Aunt Stephanie so that Kat, Brody & Quinn will have this to look back on.

1. Your aunt was the life of the party. A social butterfly if I've ever met one. She talked to everyone. While I was pregnant with Quinn, Stephanie and I walked around Target to try to bring on labor. Actually, I walked and she rode a wheelchair cart. She put it on high speed to get me to walk faster. Of course a pregnant woman (who looks like she is ready to pop any day now) almost always attracts attention. And one lady stopped to ask me when I was due. Before I could get two words in, Stephanie had just about shared every last detail of my pregnancy with this lady. Stephanie ignored my cues and subtle hints to keep on walking and I had to stand there while the two of them chatted back and forth for what seemed like an eternity.

2. Your aunt loved gifts. She loved to buy them and receive them. Most of all your clothes are from Stephanie. In fact, most of my clothes are from Stephanie. She liked clothes. When we got together she usually had a shirt or a cute outfit for one of you. She'd say "oh, it was only $5 I had to buy it". I think she just loved buying gifts. It was her love language. But she also liked to receive them. I remember when we were kids she would count how many presents she had under the tree. She would even worry sometimes if she got that 'sweater' or those 'jeans' that she really wanted. She always got what she wanted though, and Christmas morning was the best. She was in heaven. In fact, I think that is probably what heaven is like for her right now. Christmas every day.

3. Your aunt was flighty. And I mean this in the most endearing way. She went with me to register for my baby shower. We were going through Babies R Us so fast. I couldn't keep up with her. She'd point to something and say "you need two of these" and I would get out that little gun and fire away while she had already moved on to the next item that I had to have. It was nighttime before we were all done and we decided to go eat dinner at Fuddruckers. We loaded Riley & Reghan (who was just a baby at the time) in the car. As soon as Stephanie slammed the door shut I knew what had happened. Her keys, purse and phone (and girls) got locked in the car. Both girls started crying right away. Your aunt panicked. Luckily I had my phone and we quickly called a locksmith. He was there in 20 minutes and we were free to go. Stephanie said 'don't tell anybody!'. And I didn't. But she left her cell phone on the top of her car in her haste to dig out money for the locksmith. The very kind person who found the phone called our dad and her husband (to try and located the owner) - the very two people she did NOT want to know.

4. Your aunt was fiesty. One thing about your aunt Stephanie is that you knew when she was ticked. Or irritated. Annoyed. tired. cold. even hungry. She'd let you know. And being her sister she let me know plenty of times when I got on her nerves. I knew how to push her buttons :). But the funny things is that she could be annoyed with you one minute and over it the next. She didn't care or hang on to things like that, she could move on. I know of friends and family who have stopped talking over petty little things. Stephanie would never let that happen between us. If we got mad at each other over something, she call me up the next day and be completely over it.

5. Your aunt was compassionate. She was always feeling sorry for people. Or sympathetic with others. Just the little things. Walmart was one of her favorite stores. She always wanted to go there. I would tell her I can't stand Walmart and she would say 'but it's cheap!'. There was one specific greeter at Walmart that she always looked for. His name was Eddie and he was handicapped. She would make sure to park on his side of the entrance so that she could say hi to him. She always asked me about people I knew who had cancer or were sick. She wanted to know how they were doing, if they were better. She asked about my friends a lot too.

6. Your aunt had a sense of humor. When the family went to San Diego on vacation, we all stayed back because I was 8.5 months pregnant with Quinn. I called them daily to see how the trip was going and give a status of my pregnancy. One phone call my sister answered and decided to play a joke on our dad (poppop). She yelled "Joanna had the baby!" She kept it going for a bit before her laugh gave it away. Because of her cancer, Stephanie had bags hanging on her legs via her kidneys. She hated those things and I hated that she had to wear them. One day though she pulled her pant leg up and showed me that her kidney bag had turned green. She started panicking and looked nervous. I had no idea what to do except to yell CALL YOUR DOCTOR. She started laughing and I knew then that she was playing a joke on me. Through all the stuff that she went through she still managed to keep her sense of humor. Even to the very last week. She joked about going to hospice.

7. Your aunt loved you. And her two girls so much. She wanted to be here to see Riley & Reghan get married. She'll be watching, just from above. Her girls meant the world to her. And she loved you guys too. Even through all the pain she was going through, she always asked how you kids were doing. She wanted to know if Quinn was sleeping through the night. If Kat was talking more and if Brody was still throwing his random tantrums. She had made buddies with you Kat. At first you were afraid of Stephanie because you caught a glimpse of her without her wig. You ran the other way. But one day when she was visiting and I was in the kitchen doing something, I looked over and saw you two sharing a cookie on the couch. You loved Stephanie ever since. Once your aunt knew the way to your heart I frequently caught her sneaking sugary snacks to you. And every once in a while a sip from her coke. She caught a bit of heat from me on that one. Looking back I wish I didn't care so much - that was your way to bond. Stephanie was also the first person to hold you Quinn. She was going to be in the room when you were born but I ended up with a c-section and she had to leave. She stayed at the hospital though, in all the pain she was in, so that she could hold you. And Brody, you meant a lot to her too. She liked to buy you cute clothes - I think it brought back memories of her son Jake.

I have so many more memories and as you kids get older I will share them with you. But for right now I want to say to you girls, Kat & Quinn, remember to always stay close and be the best of friends. You will grow up and develop close friendships with other people. When you are young you will think it doesn't matter much and you may even take your sister for granted. As you get older though you will realize how blessed you are to have a sister. The bond you have with your sister can never be broken. You will always be sisters no matter what. Say 'I love you' any time you part. And be there for each other through your highs and lows. Brody, you too will always be a part of these girls lives. You may not have that sisterly bond that sister have, but you will be the big brother that protects and looks over them. The three of you need to hold each other close. I love you three, just like I loved your aunt.